It's been nine months since Tom died. People probably think I should be moving on and I'm trying but I just miss Tom so much. For several weeks I felt much better but in the last two weeks the deep sadness has come back. So it's back to crying myself to sleep and waking from dreams about him, in tears. Which let me tell you, is a really sucky way to start the day.
I try to focus on other things: work, my new niece, the fact that none of my pants fit and I really should do something about that, but my mind always goes back to Tom. What were we doing a year ago? Why couldn't we have more time together? How could I have had the best year of my life, followed by the worst?
Here is one thing that makes me smile: my niece, Landry. I only wish I had gotten to spend more time with her when I was in Texas at the end of May. By the time I see her at Christmas she'll probably have teeth and be walking and all grown up.