This blog should really be called....

The depressed life. I have no desire to do anything. My hair started falling out a couple of weeks ago. I've lost probably a good third of it. Handfuls come out every time I brush or wash it. Thank goodness I had a lot to begin with! The doctor says it's stress related and that I won't go bald and that it will grow back. Because it's not at all creating more stress to have my hair falling out. On the plus side, at least it doesn't take 30 minutes to blow dry my hair any more.

Obligatory Lulu photo for the Lulu fans.

Is that a cheeto I spy?

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make everything better for you. I can't begin to know what you're going through, what it's been like for you since September, but I do hope that each day is at least a teeny bit better than the day before. Or that one week is, on average, a smidge better than the previous week.

    My friend R's husband passed away rather unexpectedly in '07. He had not been feeling well and finally went to the doctor, was immediately admitted to the hospital and after numerous tests was finally diagnosed with a subset of Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He died less than six week after diagnosis -- I believe it was a sinus infection that he hadn't been able to get rid of and was just too much for his ill body to fight. His youngest son had just recently graduated from college and he and R were looking at the next stage of their lives together, with no kids in the house, no college tuition to pay, etc. And suddenly, life was not as they had planned. She's a tough fighter, a woman with a great spirit, though, and I still don't know how she did it, but she survived. I believe some of it is that soon after, her mother's lung cancer reoccured and R was busy taking care of her elderly parents. Her mother passed away less than 6 months after R's husband -- on R's birthday, no less. Again, I don't know how she did it, but she survived that, too. At the time, especially in the loss of her husband, I said things about how she and her husband had had a plan for ever after and now she was on a different path in life and find happiness/make the most of it, because the planned path wasn't an option. And while I meant what I said, believe me, she's far better at actually *doing* that than what I am.

    A year or two later, she ended up at a New Year's Eve cookout hosted by friends and finally met the guy they'd been wanting her to meet. The friends arranged one or two more situations for them to be together, and when R was ready, they clicked and it worked. They got married last April and she is an active member of his family and even a step-grandma. Last Saturday, I went to the surprise 50th birthday party he arranged for her.

    I'm sure she'd love to have her first husband back, especially for everyone else who lost him -- his parents, his sons. But I admire the hell out of her for having risked her heart again and found happiness.

    And I don't say all of that to say, "Get out there and date!" It's been so long since I was on a date that I certainly won't shove you off that ledge. I just say all of that because I think it's inspiring and comforting and because I hope life presents your alternate path to happiness, and not even that I think that path has to be a person -- whatever that path is (friends, job, hobbies, whether you stay here or go elsewhere, or, yes, that someone to love and love you back), I hope the universe is laying the stepping stones for you because, though we don't know each other well, it hurts my heart for how sad and stressed you are.